Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The lesser of two pieces of garbage: Recap #3

I was cheated out of the second half of the second episode (last year they showed the previous week's every week, right?), and missed the recap at the very beginning of this one, so I spent the first few minutes trying to figure out who the heck got cut last week. The numbers are even, so it was a guy... and it wasn't Aaron?! Vitriolic Vinnie? No, he's still there. Well, he can't have been that important if I don't even remember him.

Then, at the commercial, I find myself staring at those ten faces for the text messaging contest, and suddenly it comes to me. EDDIE! of course! Man, I was rooting for him. That's sad - I remember when he said he wanted to prove that little guys can accomplish big things. It may be better that I didn't have to see that.

OK, so - the first task: cooking breakfast for the armed forces. Clever, as was the navy guy who said "if I had known my food would have gotten here faster, I'd have joined the army." And indeed, the girls cooking for the army won, with Waffle House line cook Julia at the helm. The prize? A helicopter ride - one of those things that Bonnie thought that she would never ever in a million years get the chance to do. And of course, QT with the big guy.

Aaron collapsed right before the boys' potato-peeling punishment began. CONVENIENT, ISN'T IT? I'm just kidding. Chef Ramsay was somewhat ambiguous as to whether the doctor mandated that Aaron not return, or whether it was more of, say, a liability issue. In any case, Chef made the call to let him know he can't come back, and Aaron's disappointment, which may or may not have been scripted, was heartbreaking. Oh, Aaron of the trembling lower lip. Poor Aaron. He was a cutie pie, very out of his league, an aged teddy bear among those brusque young bucks. I guess the retirement home chef life is a little slower paced...

The remaining four all gunned for the title of "leader." I missed why the guys needed to have a leader, actually, but it didn't seem to matter to them, either - they all wanted to be it. In what I think is a good strategic move, Josh changed his "vote" to Brad at the last second. But wait, who the hell is this "Brad"? I've never noticed him before... he looks like a slightly heavier Vinnie with a less interesting face. No matter, "Brad" it is, though Rock seems to seethe a bit.

Dinner service. The boys start strong, then slow down at some point when "Brad" burns the Wellingtons, and is caught red handed trying to scrape the burned part off. Other than the Wellingtons, I can't recall too many big mistakes in the guys' kitchen other than your run-of-the-mill "do it over, it sucks."

The girls, who haven't really been able to get anything done at all, catch up when Brad's Wellingtons set the guys back, but only enough to bring everything to a halt. Because um, Jen burnt the Wellingtons too. And the girls' side made at least three Huge Mistakes, sealing their loss.

By "Huge Mistake" I mean the kind of mistake that routinely gets one of those blue-tinted flashbacks, the kind that Chef Ramsay marks as truly egregious, usually attempting to make the errant chef recognize that he or she is not only the worst chef that ever lived, but isn't really much of a human being, either. Here were hell's bitches' mistakes:
  • Bonnie served a raw scallop ("I can't trust you ever again")
  • Joanna put rancid crab in the risotto ("You didn't smell the crab?!!!")
  • Jen picked spaghetti out of the trash and tried to reboil it ("Garbage?")

Instead of the least bad chef picking two nominees, Ramsay tells the team to discuss and pick together. I fully expected the nominees to come from the three Huge Mistakes. Joanna seems to accept her fate for the rancid crab episode, and suggests herself and Jen. Silly Jen, didn't you ever watch Seinfeld? Adjacent to refuse... is refuse.

But for some reason, people started picking on Julia's lack of knowledge again, and she ends up as one of the two choices. Bonnie cited in particular that Julia didn't know what a creme brulee was. Melissa also tossed in a general sentiment, apparently based solely on prejudice, that Julia could never run a Michelin-grade restaurant. See, I know what a creme brulee is, but I actually have no clue what a "Michelin-grade restaurant" is. Joanna, who presumably does know, jumped in and shouted, "that girl could run a Michelin-grade restaurant." That's right, Joanna.

Did Julia even do anything objectionable here? Not knowing what creme brulee is is not a crime - they didn't get to it, so we don't know if she would have screwed it up. Admitting that you don't know what creme brulee is on a televised reality cooking show takes balls, and Julia's got them. She isn't afraid to stick up for herself, she isn't afraid to tell the truth even if it means praising someone she's trying to beat, and she isn't afraid to admit when she doesn't know something, no matter what these petty-minded individuals might think of her.

Not only did Julia not do anything wrong in this episode, but she stood out as doing many things well. Besides acting as the clear leader during the breakfast task, and helping finish the guys' breakfast service, it was Julia that prevented the garbage spaghetti from being served. No one thought to mention that, and Julia herself was too humble to take credit.

Ramsay asks Joanna for the nominees, and she first names herself, then names Julia - but wait! Jen presents herself as the second nominee! She fesses up to the trash-spaghetti incident in a noble gesture that prevented the possibility of grave injustice. And she is spared, Joanna sent packing. Why? My guess:

  • Ramsay was impressed by her honesty
  • Ramsay did not like Joanna's retort, "I would never give you trash," and rightfully backed her into a corner with her own rancid crab
  • Joanna has been somewhat of a wild card all along, and Jen has been under the radar

Also, maybe Ramsay didn't think pulling trashed spaghetti was that awful. I couldn't quite read his face - there was certainly disappointment, but did I also sense some self-doubt, a bit of wondering as to whether he himself would serve reboiled spaghetti from the top of the garbage, not touching other trash? There likely wouldn't be many germs, and what germs there were would be killed upon reboiling. Would you do it, if no one would find out?

I think reboiling discarded spaghetti is the lesser of two evils, and Ramsay made the right choice on that alone. But Joanna - she showed some real integrity this episode, in accepting her nomination gracefully, and in defending Julia. I'm sorry it had to be her.

Julia being nominated - now THAT'S some real garbage.

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