First two episodes, screwed up

I watched the first episode and half of the second together, a week after the premiere aired. I figured the second episode would be on again this week, but it was not; therefore, I am missing half an episode to analyze. In other words, I'm off to a very rough start.

Premiere

I rarely watch the season premiere of a reality show. They all begin with confessionals about how intense Reality Show is going to be, and what a great opportunity Reality Show is, and how much the contestant wants and needs Reality Show Grand Prize, and how the contestant is the Be All and End All of Reality Show Theme Trait. Yawn. How could this not be boring coming from a cluster of a few too many people to keep track of, none of whom have done anything interesting or relevant yet? This is why I imagine producers encourage contestants to spew instigatory soundbytes in advance of the show, but I digress. I prefer to jump in at the second or third episode, and get my first impressions in the middle of the action.

This episode 1 was no exception, and I won't get into it. The banter continued until Ramsay made his abrupt entrance, starstruck expressions all around the cast, and then GO! 12 chefs spring to the kitchen to make their "signature" dish. "You on a plate," Ramsay later quipped. "Signature dish" is a concept I find fascinating. What would I be on a plate? Spaghetti with a kilogram of parmesan cheese? French toast with strawberries and whipped cream? The world may never know.

Judging begins; first up, "Vinnie." Though "Vinnie" presents himself as a badass in his web picture and in the show, I find it difficult to take this "Vinnie" spelling seriously. Ramsay says Vinnie's dish is a disappointment, and Vinnie, in a classic rookie chip-on-the-shoulder mistake, responds, "I don't think so." After Ramsay smacks him down, he says in a camera confessional that Ramsay's just intimidated by him. OK, Vinnie's either got an attitude problem or is way too into playing tough guy for the cameras.


Some standout moments during the rest of the signature dishes... three of the dishes involved scallops, and none were good. Melissa, short New Yorker with long hair and a high opinion of her own looks, was the first to win Ramsay's praise. A number of times, Ramsay had two of the contestants taste a dish one of them made and give their opinions. Julia stood out as honest when she complimented her competition's dish, and the chef agreed.

I'm writing this over a week later, so I don't remember the dinner service well. I do remember the aftermath - Tiffany made a snide remark about Julia's lack of culinary sophistication, Melissa got to pick, and Melissa nominated Tiffany to my delight after essentially promising not to. And she got sent home. Yay! I was worried she was going to turn out to be a real bitch if permitted to stay on. Her post-axing comments were cryptic - I thought she said something like, if Chef Ramsay picks based on heart, he made the right choice. Hm.

Second episode

Like I said, I only watched the first half, and remember little except Aaron's misguided descent into some sort of a breakdown, and Ramsay constantly making bad jokes about Eddie's height.

We'll try to do a better job on week 3.